Love And Soulmate
No definition required ! Yet mysterious !!
Must for strong bonds !
Life seems a desert without true love !!
All crave for true love but very few values it !!!
Love is simple yet complex
Love is simple. It is the basic emotion, most basic necessity. It sounds very obvious to all of us. Yet it is so much missed. Even in love marriage, we need reassurance. Do you love me? And we are not talking about why relationships get broken. Simple answer – No love left. Why??
Answer is – Love is simple yet complex.
It is not just one emotion but a complex & dynamic mix of many emotions and traits. There are individual difference how one expresses, expects, perceives and feels love. And this leads to doubt and dissatisfaction.
It depends on how much you are ready, how much developed to perform the game of love. For different kinds of love one needs to have developed various components be it spiritual skills, intellectual skills, emotional skills, physical skills, social skills and so on. For a good bond, two people need to be compatible and developed in these skills. If it is so, they will share and satisfy each others need of love. Otherwise same story of unhappiness.
Why does love fail
With so many broken marriages and broken relationships, do you wonder why does love fail. Important reasons are:
1. There was no love at all – Many marriages and relationships are assumed to be based on love but in reality they are formed due to other reasons. He is handsome she is sexy, this may not make a great love story. Similarly he is rich she is cute. Look carefully your own case.
2. Priorities change – There was something that brought you together but that no longer is your need or priority. Or you have developed some other priority. His need was sex, he got that. In earlier days you loved to spend time together but now rising high in your profession excites you more. What is your priority?
3. Occasionally good but now a burden – Some traits were adored in low dose but become a burden in daily dose. His possessiveness was symbol of care but now feels suffocating. Moderation is the key.
4. Boredom – Mind needs novelty, simple. You can prevent this.
5. Lacks love skills – This may be news but is true in most cases. You need love skills to make a super hit love story.
6. Fear of failure – Surprisingly in a large number of cases rest all is fine but it is the fear of failure of love that results in ultimate fall apart. You anticipates that love is dying and start making accusations over innocent errors. That is the beginning of end.
Selfish can never love
A selfish person can never love. He or she will only think about self gratification. Even when in relationship, a selfish person thinks about relationship as possession. The level of thoughtfulness, sensitivity and understanding that is required to form a strong relationship is not there in a selfish person.
A selfish person may give costly gifts but will not be able to feel the emotional need of other person.
To love one needs to think beyond I.
But the state of such selfish person is so miserable. He or she is deprived of the real happiness, the ability to give and receive love. Such selfish people gather possessions even people around them to cover up their deficiency. But they do not have happiness, the bliss that comes from love. Those who stays with them are there only for their own selfish interest. The joy of relationship can never be felt by selfish.
Such people live with a feeling of loneliness even if they are surrounded by others. The frustration comes to surface in moments where there is real need of true love. But sometimes it gets too late.
True love comes from giving true love. If you want it, give it.
Eternal love is sensible and honest
Want to live the bliss of eternal love? It is possible, just get practical. Fulfill the basic needs of each other in day to day life and experience the love. And here it is how:
- Action – Nothing happens on its own. You have to make it happen. So act and act appropriately when and where it is required.
- Soul Mind Heart and Body – Love involves play of all, soul mind heart and body. You must have the skill to touch all.
- Thoughtfulness – Think and apply yourself. A simple gesture with some thought behind it can do wonders rather than million dollar gift.
- Understanding – Every human being is unique. Understanding of each others personality is the biggest investment one can make.
- Support – Support each other in need and in growth. That will help the bond grow.
- Sex – Never ignore the basic element. Quantity and quality both matters. Learn the art of sexuality to keep it fresh always.
- Help grow – Do not let your partner stagnate in life. Suggest and stimulate growth at various levels. This will avoid negativity building up and will infuse positivity.
- Pray for him / her – It helps. You need not be very religious but can definitely pray for your partner and the relationship.
- Small things – Don’t think that only big gifts or big acts can create love. On the contrary it is the small little day to day activities which express care for each other.
- Protect and encourage – Protect and encourage the partner when he or she is feeling week. We all undergo such moments and genuine encouragement can do well for the person and for the love between.
- Quality time – It is not only for young couples. For love to grow it is crucial that we spend quality time together. It can be morning walk, reading book together, yoga or dance class, a vacation or cuddling in bed. Choice must be mutual.
- Words of love– Be vocal about love. Speak it up. Your partner is hungry for such words.
- Complaints – Learn to make proper complaints and be safe from disaster. Your goal is not to hurt but to bring about a change. So be gentle and specific. Never forget to reward the positive response and stay calm if it is not there.
- Questions – Do not hesitate in asking questions but as in complaints, be gentle and specific. It will save you from fights and embarrassment.
- Patience – Have patience. Avoid getting hyper on small things. Discuss and sort out. The tree of love takes time in growing. Nurture it before expecting fruits.
- Desirable – Be desirable for your partner. It should be in grooming, attitude, values, habits, social skills. Make sure that you are not becoming a liability or repulsive.
- Enjoyable – Keep yourself interesting and enjoyable. Engage in positive activities, learn new things, have good humor, remain interested in life.
- Observe – Be attentive. Observe your partner’s clothes, grooming, mood, health and other things. This conveys that you are interested.
- Appreciate – Never underestimate the power of appreciation. It should not be flattery but genuine appreciation with thoughtful advice if necessary. Simplest way to quick love flow.
- Wanted and loved – Make your partner feel wanted and loved. And this requires small gestures of attention and care. A warm smile or hug, moments of togetherness, timely care will stir up the romance.
- Share stress – Help the partner unloads the burden of stress but do not take it on yourself instead.
- Responsibilities – Like stress, share responsibilities. Result – low negativity high positivity.
- Priority – Your partner is your MIP. Most Important Person. So deal with him / her accordingly. Set your priorities correct. And it does not mean you become unfair to others.
- Gifts – Love can be without gifts but gifts can not be without love. It can be among strangers, acquaintances, in business but in love your gifts must have your feelings in it.
- Share and seek opinion – Will help in improving understanding and mutual growth.
- Funny moments – Spend some light, funny moments together. Laugh together over silly things.
- Forgive and forget – Fine to have some forgettable moments. Do not keep account book of these. Let it go and move on. Do not keep them alive by recalling them again and again.
- Remember dates names – Try to have them in your brain but it is ok to have them in diary, mobile. It will make your partner feel wanted and important.
- Friend – Be friend and remain friend. Keep the spark alive. Learn to laugh and cry together.
- Don’ts – Strictly no to these until and unless you intentionally want to kill love. Cribbing cursing and hurting, adultery, cheating, lie, manipulation, possessiveness.
The secret is in giving …..