Marriage, Pre Marital and Family Counseling Centre,

New Delhi, India

Ethos Super Specialty Relationship Counseling

 (Marriage,  Pre Marital  and Family Counseling)

With thousands of satisfied couples who learned the art of intimacy and happy relationship, Ethos offers super specialized pre marital, marriage and family counseling. Intimate relationship like marriage can offer either pleasure (of companionship & love) or pain (of anger, discords, disappointments & heart break). Such intimate relationship can be biggest asset & source of strength but unfortunately most of the times these are not perfect. With modernization of society, changing roles & values, rise of working couples, time pressure and other factors, the prevalence of discords in such relationships is rising. And the reason is not hidden, it is all in our mind and in the skill of intimacy that we learn. Our specialized relationship therapy has helped :

• Married Couples
• Those about to get married (Premarital)

Marriage / Marital Counseling

It is not unusual to have difference of opinion and discords in marriage. But it is unusual to continue with these discords and let them destroy marriage. Every human being enter marriage with own expectations, ideas, values, way of living etc. Intimacy can lead to conflicts and fortunately it can be easily resolved. Marriage counseling can enhance compatibility & help in resolving issues like :

• Frequent anger & fights
• Domestic violence
• Impending divorce
• Infidelity and extramarital relations
• Substance abuse like alcoholism
• Discord with in-laws & extended families
• Sexual problems, addiction & dissatisfaction
• Communication problem & personal space
• Problems with roles & dependency
• Financial problems
• Infertility and parenting problems
• Lack of ‘spark’ and feeling of staleness
• Lack of time or mismanagement of time
• Health Problems
• Feeling of loneliness & emptiness
• Discords over values & cultural issues
• ‘Empty Nest’ when children grow up & move out

Couple Hypnosis

One to One Couple Hypnosis is one of its kind hypnosis sequence developed by Dr S K Sharma to help couples in attaining the state of true love. It helps in creating better understanding, better communication with a stronger bond. It removes conflicts & discords.

Love therapy ©

For those in love (or want to be in). It will help you to understand the chemistry of intimate relationship. It will also tell you how to generate and keep the spark in the most crucial relationship of your life. Love never dies, never gets stale. It only goes out of focus.

Symbiosis Dynamic Relational Therapy ©

A unique therapy which will enable you to understand how to develop healthy relations be it within family, with friends & relatives, work place & professional relations and other social relations. A must for Mother in Law’s & Daughter in Law’s.  It tells how to :

– Keep relationship positive & dynamic.

– Avoid conflicts & negativity.

– Understand complexities of relations.

– Enhance self integrity & mutual satisfaction.

Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling is the difference between ‘Happy Home’  and  ‘Broken Home’.

Increasing discords in marriage, rising divorce rates, broken homes and resulting unhappy lives signifies the importance of adequate & professional premarital counseling. Before one enters ‘marriage’ it is crucial to know & learn the skills required to make a happy marriage. It helps by :

• Developing mental preparedness and right attitude
• Removing misconceptions & blocks
• Understanding intricacies of intimate relationship
• Developing the skill of creating a strong bond
• Learning how to avoid, identify and manage discords
• Develop healthy sexuality
• Develop communication & problem solving skills
• Creating compatibility

Both marriage and premarital counseling can be done in single or joint sessions. It can be short (issue based) counseling or long term counseling for positive relationship.

Contact Us  if you have some query or for appointment.

How marriage counseling or marital counseling helps:

• It improves understanding of each others traits and personalities
• It improves communication
• It reduces power struggle
• It helps in organizing priorities
• It helps in balancing professional, social and personal life
• It helps in enhanced intimacy
• It helps in higher emotional satisfaction
• It helps in better sexual satisfaction

Higher benefits of marriage counseling or marital counseling

Marriage counseling or marital counseling can even help those couples who are having a happy married life. It can further help in :

• enhancing understanding
• exploring variety
• achieving new highs in relationship
• enhancing self and each others personality

Couple Hypnosis

One to One Couple Hypnosis is one of its kind hypnosis sequence that I developed to help couples in attaining the state of true love. It helps in :

• Creating desire for each other
• Creating better understanding
• Creating better communication
• Creating stronger bond
• Removing conflicts & discords
• Removing negative emotions
• Removing painful past memories

Pre Marriage or Pre Marital Counseling

Pre Marital Counseling is said to be the Life’s best investment ever as it can make the difference between a happy and disturbed married life.

• It helps in development of compatibility
• It helps in working upon unrealistic expectations and fears
• It helps in understanding each others personality traits thereby reducing chances of misunderstandings and conflicts
• It helps in working upon post marriage status of other relationships like in-laws, social relationships etc
• It helps in discovering common and individual interests
• It helps in working upon child rearing, career and finance options
• It helps in enhanced development of love and sexuality
• It helps in working upon mutual value system

Let there be love

Do You :

• Do you feel your marriage is going in wrong direction
• Do you feel that the love between you has been lost somewhere
• Do you have frequent arguments and discords over major or even minor issues
• Do you feel your partner is cheating on you or there is infidelity
• Do you feel there is incompatibility between you
• Do you feel you are over possessed or you have no say or self choice
• Do you feel you lack intimacy, emotional connection and commitment
• Do you feel you are having too less or too much sex
• Do you feel there is lack of communication or there is improper communication in relationship
• Do you have violence in relationship – verbal, physical, sexual or even emotional
• Do you feel divorce is the only solution

If yes, there is hope and solution. This can be overcome. Conflicts do not mean that a marriage has failed. Conflicts are natural part of every marriage. They only mean that they have not been worked upon adequately. This is where marriage counseling, also called marital counseling, helps.

My approach – Since 1994 I am counseling couples and helping them to rediscover the spark. My belief, based upon years of experience working with married couples, is that the only difference between a successful marriage and not so successful marriage is not the presence or absence of conflicts but it is the fact that how well the couple works upon the conflicts. How they nurtures & enhances the relationship, the chemistry and yes, LOVE. We have successfully helped couples to move from the brink of divorce to a very healthy and strong bonding. As I always say love never dies or gets stale, it only goes out of focus.

Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, is a type of psychotherapy. Marriage counseling helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships.

Some typical issues that marriage counseling can help you and a spouse or partner cope with are:

• Anger
• Arguments and discords
• Changing roles, such as retirement
• Children and Blended families
• Communication problems
• Conflicts about child rearing
• Cultural clashes
• Divorce
• Finances
• Infertility
• Infidelity
• Physical or mental conditions
• Same-sex relationship issues
• Sexual difficulties
• Substance abuse
• Unemployment

Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their bonds and gain a better understanding of each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. This pre-marriage counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage.

Marriage counseling is generally provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. These therapists provide the same mental health services as other therapists, but with a specific focus — a couple’s relationship. Marriage counseling is often short term. You may need only a few sessions to help you weather a crisis. Or you may need marriage counseling for several months, particularly if your relationship has greatly deteriorated. As with individual psychotherapy, you typically see a marriage counselor once a week.

Marriage counseling typically brings couples or partners together for joint therapy sessions. The counselor or therapist helps couples pinpoint and understand the sources of their conflicts and try to resolve them. You and your partner will analyze both the good and bad parts of your relationship.

Marriage or marital counseling is also called couples therapy. It is a kind of psychotherapy. Marriage counseling is often provided by licensed therapists known as marriage and family therapists. It helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships. Through marriage counseling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding your relationship or going your separate ways.

Talking about your problems with a marriage counselor might not be easy. Sessions might pass in silence as you and your partner seethe over perceived wrongs or you might bring your fights with you, perhaps even yelling or arguing during sessions. Both are OK. Your therapist can act as mediator or referee and help you cope with the resulting emotions and turmoil.

If you or your partner is coping with mental illness, substance abuse or other issues, your therapist might work with other health care providers to provide a complete spectrum of treatment.

The main purpose of marriage counseling is to put you and your significant other in a room with a neutral mediator to help you make sense of what’s going on. If you’re having trouble communicating with each other, then the counselor is going to help guide you through talking about it.

As couples move through the steps of the counseling process which involves talking, listening and uncovering communication patterns, this eventually reveals the underlying emotions. These underlying emotions have been covered up by the defensiveness of hurt feelings, disconnection, loneliness, frustration, hurt, misunderstanding and being unheard and ignored.

Marriage counseling gives couples the opportunity to hear their loved one in a brand new way. Once a person feels less defensive because they are being heard, they can then open themselves up to identify and understand their own contributions to the problems in the marriage. They discover things about themselves, and their partner that they never knew previously.

Depending on the situation, your counselor might also talk to you both individually for portions of the appointment, or in separate appointments altogether. Marriage counseling is well worth the feelings of connection and romance that can come back.

Marriage counseling does wonders for your relationship, and it’s important that you seek professional help as soon as you experience a rough patch with your spouse. Marriage counseling is the best remedy for your degraded relationship with your spouse. It includes the following benefits:

• It will make you realize how important marriage is.
• It helps you to learn how to discuss problems and issues in your relationship without leading to a fight or a complete shutdown.
• It will teach you different healthy ways on how to deal with your marriage conflicts.
• It will examine the cause of your conflicts and give you pieces of advice in overcoming it. It will even scrutinize your relationship’s development.
• It identifies your strengths and weaknesses and offers suggestions to help you increase your own awareness for the benefit of your relationship with your spouse.
• You will  learn and practice effective problem solving techniques
• Understanding of how we connect emotionally and how to grow a deeper and more fulfilling bond with each other
• Ways to make repairs and to reconnect when things get off track that bring you closer.
• Learn to stop the criticism, nagging, defensiveness, and stonewalling that break down the love and respect in your relationship.
• Regaining the ability to perceive the positive characteristics in your partner and in your marriage
• Learning how each partner receives love and ways to build up “love deposits” in each other’s “emotional banks”. This process helps you to create love again in your marriage.
• Negotiating differences in your relationship including sex, parenting, money and lifestyle issues.
• It helps you to control your anger that is also accounted for breaking of married relationships.
• Destructive patterns of relating can be recognized and addressed.
• Conflict and communication can be improved.
• New relationship skills can be learned.
• The impact of change and loss can be examined.
• Relationships can be more successful.
• Abusive relationships and domestic violence can be acknowledged.

Marriage counselors are therapists trained to assist couples with relationship difficulties. Their main job responsibility is to provide guidance to couples drowning in their marital problems so that they can be able to learn how they can help themselves next time they find themselves in such predicaments.

Marriage counselors are trained to look beyond the individual to primary relationships and the roles people play within these relationships. They take a holistic and long-term view of health. Licensed counselors are required to uphold the values and ethics of the profession.
Some marriage counselor’s advice couples to have time dating in order to know one another much better. The couples must be given the chance to know more and discover what the couple likes to happen in their relationship. Dating can be an excellent healing process because it allows both parties to remember the times when they first met and the sweetness as well as the love that was developed between them. It can also bring fun to their lives. Marriage counseling often includes dating as a part of repairing broken marriages.

Apart from dating, these counselors are also required to collect information from the couple’s family. The aim of this process is to try to gather as much useful information about the couple as possible. The information is meant to help the counselor to understand the couple’s relationship from another standpoint other that the one that they tell him or her about.

Marriage counselors listen carefully to both sides. Marriage counselors actively listen that is why clients would feel at ease to open up and talk more regarding the things that are bothering them. If only both partners know how to give and take and listen carefully, then there are no broken marriages or broken relationships. Listening is the basic principle in counseling.

Premarital counseling is that form of counseling which centers around the interpersonal relationship of a man and a woman. It is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. It can help you identify weaknesses that could become bigger problems during marriage. Couples who attend pre-marriage counseling classes are able to better overcome challenges and difficulties.

There are as many reasons to seek pre-marital counseling as there are engaged couples. Sometimes one party or the other might feel that there is a serious issue that needs to be worked through before it is too late. Others may have the counseling recommended to them by a friend. Or perhaps it is a second marriage for the bride or groom, and they just want to make sure that this time around the marriage will stick.

Premarital counseling aims to present to couples all the major issues involved in marriage which should guide them in finding the right ways to work out their relationship. Other important goals are to help couples develop various skills focusing on communication and to determine possible areas of conflict during married life. Counseling sessions range from two or more meetings to relatively long discussions.

Through premarital counseling, couples are encouraged to discuss a wide range of important and intimate topics related to marriage, such as:

• Finances
• Communication
• Family relationships
• Decision making
• Beliefs and values
• Roles in marriage
• Affection and sex
• Children and parenting
• Dealing with anger
• Time spent together

Benefits of pre marital counseling

• It helps couples improve their relationships before marriage
• It improves the ability of the partners to communicate
• It set realistic expectations for marriage
• It can help couples establish a positive attitude about seeking help with their marriages down the road
• It develops conflict-resolution skills
• It can help ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship

In premarital counseling, each partner is asked certain questions about their expectations. These questions encourage partners to assess their perspectives of one another and their relationship. They can also help identify a couple’s strengths, weaknesses and potential problem areas. Your counselor can help you interpret your results together, encourage you and your partner to discuss areas of common unhappiness or disagreement, and set goals to help you overcome challenges.

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married.  And by then it was too late.  ~Max Kauffman

Think of this or think of the conversation between a girl and her parents (that was overheard in a restaurant). The girl in early twenties was being told by parents that they are searching for a ‘suitable boy’ for her. The girl was quick and firm to say that she is happy with her life and want no one to disturb her. As expected, parents were surprised and quick to convey this to their daughter. The argument turned heated. For parents it was difficult even to believe what their daughter was talking. And when their daughter asked them ‘Why should I get married’ the first response was – ‘Everyone does so’.  Is that a good enough reason to get married ???

This question, which probably was not frequently asked a few years ago but it is becoming more and more relevant with the socio economic and cultural changes we are going through. Of course the reason – ‘Everyone gets  married’ will not motivate everybody now and in future more and more people will weigh – ‘what will I get If  I get married and what will I lose if I do not get married’ This can be asked in the reverse order too. And yes people today are aware enough that there is more to quality of life than just money.  The younger generation has examples of singles living their lives happily and independently. On the other hand they have witnessed difficulties of marriage from very close. Any discord between parents can raise a question mark about marriage. So, be sure, this question is going to become the most important decision of life. “Should I get married or not, will I be happier with it or without it.’

The difficulty lies in the fact that there can be no comparison between two married couple or families. The factors which contribute to success or happiness in a married life are so diverse. Just like finger prints, married lives may look similar but all have distinguished points which make them unique. So children of two happily married couples can not be sure that their marriage too will be a happy one. Same goes the other way round too.

The argument that goes for staying single is privacy and independence. I have my own world, I have my own ways. I do what and when I want to do. I don’t want anybody to restrict me and dictate, to uncover my private self and even my wardrobe. I have my own habits and I can’t change my entire living ways. I have my career and my social life and I am too busy for day to day responsibilities of spouse and children. I am healthy and strong, can take care of myself and why worry about old age, even married people suffer then. And If I have money, everything will be taken care of. I have seen many couples, how they fight with each other. I think I am better and happier alone.

But wait, is marriage all about fighting with each other, loss of freedom and responsibilities or it has something to offer. Marriage can cause change at three levels. A person’s reaction to these will depend on the relative priority of his or her psychological needs. If the needs are fulfilled in the order of priority, one feels happiness.

At the individual level marriage can be taken as a step forward in the journey of life. It symbolizes growth. It indicates that the person is ready to play the role of an adult and is ready for responsibilities. It improves persons self worth and self respect in addition to more respect and acceptance in society as an individual maturing from background family. It has been found that those who do not get married, later in life feels left out of mainstream in society. The loneliness thus generated becomes the major cause of stress and depression.

At the level of couple, marriage can be said to be the most complex relationship i.e. the relationship between a man and a woman. When single people give priority to privacy and independence, they tend to overlook the fact another face of lack of privacy and independence is intimacy. The kind of intimacy, oneness and togetherness marriage offer is very hard to have in any other relationship. One can say that this is possible even in friendship. But one should remember that the extent to which marriage offers commonness of purpose of living is not possible in other relationships. A married couple has basic goals of life in common. It’s like a team work.  The kind of sharing a couple can have, can make bigger goals more achievable. A man and woman in married life  compliments each other and gives a feeling of completeness. It helps in broadening of vision where one is able to understand oneself and another human being. In any other relationship the interaction is more likely to be made up whereas in marriage it is more likely to be spontaneous and natural. It helps in making one’s understanding of human behavior better. Also it helps in giving the most coveted human desire of being understood and cared. In marriage one can be a real self and still feel understood and cared. A lot of stress is relieved and it gives lots of mental comfort that there is someone who understands and accept you as you are that too without any selfish motive.

Psychological studies also prove this point.  Emotional help seems to reduce the incidence of depression and mental illness (Ross et al 1990), and may provide an important buffer against stress (Kessler and Essex 1982, Berkman 1988). Marriage can also enhance feelings of attachment and belonging, which are thought to affect mental health (House et al 1988). Married individuals act differently from single people. They tend to engage less in risky activities and more in healthy ones – perhaps for the sake of their partner (Umberson 1987, Ross et al 1990, Power et al 1999).

Here it is difficult to leave the role of love and sex. It is not necessary to say how love and sex play a major role in one’s life. One can argue that both are there outside marriage also and marriage makes it rather monotonous. Well yes it happens in many marriages but that happens when a particular couple fails to relate to each other and there is no honest attempt to develop a relationship by understanding each other. Ego has spoiled many a marriages. Strange thing is that to master every other thing one makes many attempts but in love and sex one want it happen automatically. One has to invest to reap dividends and human relation is no exception. Those who are wise enough to understand this and make an honest and patient attempt are rewarded by a bond which is one of the strongest and can prove to be the axis and anchor of one’s life. The pleasure and contentment given by physical and emotional intimacy in such a bond can not be matched by hundreds of casual relationships which are based on more of ‘what I get’ rather than ‘what you want’.

Families are said to be the building blocks of society. Think of the society where there are no families, no relatives just strangers. What bonds will people have in such a society? The patience and affection with which parents nurture their children, will it be possible if there were no families. Anywhere if a group of people develops rapport and bonding, they say that we are like a family. It gives a ‘We’ feeling where one feels to belong. It helps one to have self identity.  It is another form of one’s ‘Richness’. It adds to one’s wealth which many times prove more useful than the bank balance. The kind of security and support it provides when one thinks about present and future, old age, critical need like illness or setbacks of life is difficult if not impossible in other relations. Even those who decide to stay single in case of need looks upon relatives which is also part of extended family. And not only one gets support from family, it also gives a purpose to live, to fight through the struggle and stresses of life. And not to forget is the stress bursting capacity of the family. What else can give a better healing after a day full of stress than a warm hug of a loved one. And when one is going through the setbacks and failures of life, it is the family which helps one to keep going. Sadness vanishes and happiness doubles when shared. And it is the family which shares the smallest of sadness and happiness of a person. The moments thus shared become the treasure of a person’s life which helps to keep him or her happy down till last day of life. Those days of old age when the faculties are slow, these memories give a sense of contentment with life. One also relives life through the young ones which one identifies with oneself. Have you ever noticed the happiness and pride on one’s face when his or her grandchild is getting married or going on job. It gives a sense of continuity of life which helps one to be better prepared for the transition which people call ‘death’.

To get married or not is one’s choice. But before you make that choice, be sure.

Dr. S. K. Sharma.      

It does not matter whether it is illegal drugs, prescribed medications, and alcohol or porn addictions. These addictions can easily ruin and end a marriage. Couples in which a partner is addicted to something are often very unhappy than couples who don’t have problems with addictions. The couples fight and argue which sometimes can become violent.  When there is some sort of addiction there will normally be stress, depression, physical and/or mental abuse, and financial difficulties.

When there is not only a marriage, but children involved, an addiction can become even tougher. When there are no children, although difficult, the spouse can leave with little or no strings attached. When children come into the picture it is common for the non- addicted spouse to do everything to try to get the addict to stop. This is because they do not want to break the family apart.

With much work and several steps, a marriage cannot only be saved from an addiction, but may also grow stronger.

• You should identify the type of addiction. You could find out
• Be honest with each other. Be convinced the addiction really exists before you start looking for help.
• Interacting with others who have been able to conquer addictions can really inspire your spouse to get through this situation.
• Support the addict. If you do not support your spouse, he or she could just relapse, get discouraged or wonder whether they should even attempt to get over the addiction.
• Strengthen the communication with your spouse.

You and your spouse have to work together in saving your marriage from addiction.

Divorce is the legal breakup of a marriage. It is unlike annulment which declares the marriage null and void. Divorce can be a stressful experience affecting finances, living arrangements, household jobs, schedules and more. If the family includes children, they may be deeply affected.

Divorce is a difficult time for the entire family. The changes brought on by separation and divorce can be overwhelming. But now more than ever, it’s important to take care of yourself. Tap into your support network, turning to family and friends for assistance and comfort. Formal support groups can also help you cope with the many emotions of a marriage ending.

The legal process of divorce may also involve issues of alimony (spousal support), child custody, child support, distribution of property, and division of debt. In most countries monogamy is required by law, so divorce allows each former partner to marry another; where polygyny is legal but polyandry is not, divorce allows the woman to marry a new husband.

Effects of Divorce on Children

During fights of parents to termination of the relationship and divorce including the court custody cases, children are forced to face anguishing without any fault. Effects of divorce of parents on kids are beyond comprehension but there’s a lot you can do to help children cope.

• Do learn more about how to help your child cope with divorce.
• Don’t quiz your child about the other parent or what goes on at the other parent’s house.
• Don’t confide in your children about adult concerns like disagreements with your spouse or money worries.

Being a parent can be one of life’s most joyful and rewarding experiences. Caring for small children is tiring. On bad days, we can feel trapped by the constant responsibility. Caring for older children is less physically draining but more worrisome because they spend much more time outside the home.

Parents play a very important role in the socializing process of the child. Right from the bed time stories to the behavioral habits parents play a very important role in making a child a responsible citizen. When you have children your enjoy them. You don’t think of them as getting older quite naturally. You enjoy raising your child or children. Sometimes this totally consumes our lives
Here are few tips which can enhance your parenting skills and fulfill you more as a parent.

• Never hurt your child’s self esteem
• Encourage social interaction
• Consistency with your discipline is essential
• Give your child your precious time
• Provide your child healthy diet and hygiene
• Be expressive about your unconditional love
• Don’t expect a lot from your child
• Challenging your child to complete small tasks make him more confident and responsible.

Parenting is much more than just providing materialistic things for your children. Parenting should involve spending time with your kids, chatting with them daily, teaching them good from bad, correcting them every time they do something wrong, teaching them manners, teaching them to share, loving them, playing with them, teaching them what respect is and installing moral values in them.

Most of us invest far more energy and strategy in choosing things such as a car, a house, or a holiday package than we do in selecting a life partner. But choosing a life partner is a very important decision. Do not be rushed into a choice. This is probably the most critical decision you are likely to make in your life and you cannot be pushed to decide either way. It takes a long time to understand another human being, particularly because during the initial phases of a relationship, one is on one’s best behavior. There are many factors that one needs to consider when choosing a life partner. The most important aspect is to consider things that are crucial to you. Here are a few tips on making a good choice.

• Determine what you are looking for in a partner – Knowing what you need will prevent you from becoming involved in a relationship with a person who ultimately does not share your goals.
• Potential partner with same interests –Selecting someone who shares a lot of common interests with you will work in your favour. Remember that all your interests don’t really have to be the same, but some would do.
• Be honest about who you are – During courtship, it may be tempting to appease the other person by manipulating the truth about your past or present situation in order to impress each other.
• Communication is essential – Common areas of differences and clashes should be discussed with a potential partner and understood before launching onto a life together.
• Spend time together – Just as important as it is to have similar interests, it is also crucial to be with someone who gives you enough time and who you would love to spend time with.
• You should have respect for one another – You obviously cannot spend your life with someone who has no respect for you or your dreams/goals or your personality. So, choose someone who will acknowledge you for the rest of your life.

Infidelity (also referred to as cheating, adultery, or having an affair) is the subjective feeling that one’s partner has violated a set of rules or relationship norms and this violation results in feelings of sexual jealousy and rivalry. It is one of the primary reasons that couples in the United States seek divorce.

Effects of infidelity

• Discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful breeds a devastating amount of distrust.
• Grieving the loss of trust in the relationship can manifest itself in the victim in various emotions simultaneously
• Affairs may lead to a feeling of tremendous insecurity and anger.
• Such an individual may lose complete faith in relationships and also the ability to trust people because of the immense betrayal caused by infidelity.
• Infidelity may result in long drawn out and bitter divorce proceedings and custody battles.
• Where children are involved, their lives may experience a lot of turmoil and in unfortunate cases they may be used against the cheating partner.

How to recover from infidelity

The steps to recover from infidelity may be the most painful steps you will take as an individual or as a couple as you try to rebuild the trust you had in your partner. Assuming this affair was meaningless to your spouse and they are asking for your forgiveness, you have to do a self-assessment first. It includes the following questions.

• Do you want your marriage to survive?
• Can you forgive your spouse for their thoughtless act?
• Can you rebuild your trust in your spouse?
• How can you turn this adversity into a positive for your marriage?

In order to recover from infidelity, the injured partner has to be able to get past the emotional trauma of your mate’s unfaithfulness. It is not a matter of forgiving and forgetting because that is nearly impossible to do. In other words, you can’t continue to bring this dreadful act of selfishness up every time you get angry at your spouse. You have to accept their acts of forgiveness as genuine and sincere then focus on the reasons why you still want to be with them.

Divorce is a great loss and a crisis which has a huge impact on the lives of everyone who is involved. Whether a marriage was short-term or long-term, the pain felt by the individuals involved in either type is often quite similar after it dissolves. The end of a relationship is always a difficult time. There are many things you’ll need to focus on during this difficult time and at times.

The end of a relationship can damage self esteem and self confidence. Over the coming weeks and months you need to really focus on looking after yourself. After divorce, it is important to try and get your life back as soon as possible. The following tips will help you to get through this difficult time and face the future with hope.

• Set small goals – when times are feeling really tough it may feel as if you’re getting nowhere. Setting yourself small achievable goals not only boosts feel good chemicals, but also boosts your confidence.
• Start a job search if employment or finances are an issue. Get some help with your resume from someone you know who has some expertise in this area.
• Look after your health. Make sure you take regular exercise and eat nutritiously
• Laughter really is the best medicine so make sure you make time to see friends and have some fun too.
• Make time to Relax. Whether you prefer reading a book, going for a walk, soaking in the bath, going for a run or gardening – it really doesn’t matter.
• Discover a new side of yourself. Maybe it’s trying a new sport, considering a different place of worship, or going back to college.

The amount of time to completely move on after a divorce is as varied as the reasons for divorce itself. Some take two years and others can span decades. But whatever the length of time you require, the sooner you allow yourself to grieve the loss, the sooner you can move on and find happiness in your life.

Money is one of the most sensitive subjects that impact almost all relationships. Managing your own money can be challenging enough. But incorporating your spouse’s finances can be overwhelming. Married couples must learn the basics of financial planning, which includes managing money together. Seeking the service and advice of a professional financial advisor will ease the financial process. Following tips will help you to prevent money issues in married life.

• Transparency in Relationship– Having a secret bank account or keeping secrecy about credit cards may lead to loss of trust between partners. Both the partners should know about each other financial commitments and assets.
• Know your common goals – Discuss the common financial goals such as tertiary education for the children, buying a bigger house, travelling round the world or early retirement. Knowing your common goals will help you lay out a workable and realistic financial and investment plan.
• Design a Budget – Start by reviewing your joint expenses over the last few months to determine how much you’ve been spending and if you need to bring that amount down.
• Participative Financial Management– The optimal way to avoid money conflicts is by making decisions together. Whether it is a monthly budget or considerations pertaining to long-term planning, the couple should make it a team effort.
• Learn from Each Other – There is a chance that your spouse knows more or is more experienced and disciplined when it comes to handling money.
• Avoid the blame game – Avoid finger pointing and focus solely on the solution. Accepting the situation and working together can help to a great deal in preventing the money crisis.

Violence is any kind of behavior that a person uses, or threatens to use, to control an intimate partner. There is no single type of marital violence. Sometimes, controlling behavior on the part of her husband is a woman’s first sign that she may be in an abusive relationship. Her husband may prevent her from seeing friends or family and make her feel guilty or afraid if she chooses to spend time with others. Physical assaults coupled with increased social isolation strengthen his control. Over time, a woman can come to feel like a hostage in her own home.

In other relationships, the violence is different. Both the husband and wife slap or shove each other when they get angry. Often, they are more concerned about the content of their disagreements than the violence itself, and neither partner sees themselves as being abused or controlled.

Domestic violence can take various forms:

• Physical – Violent actions such as hitting, beating, pushing, and kicking.
• Emotional – Undermining an individual’s self-esteem, constant criticism, insults, put-downs, and name-calling
• Economic – Examples include limiting the victim’s access to family income, preventing the victim from working or forcing the victim to work and making all the financial decisions
• Sexual – Includes any sexual acts that are forced on one partner by the other
• Psychological – Includes intimidation, isolating the victim from friends and family, controlling where the victim goes, making the victim feel guilty or crazy, and making unreasonable demands

Domestic violence is nothing to take lightly, before you commit to marriage or “get serious” make absolutely sure that you get objective advice e.g. friends and family and that you are not just follow your feelings as you may be “blinded by love”. Love is a choice and a commitment not just a feeling.

Few events in life are as painful as the death of a spouse. Losing a loved one changes your entire life, especially when the loved one was also your best friend.  So many years together, so many memories you two created together are all you have left. Learn to find ways in which to honor a loved one’s memory while moving on in a healthy, life-affirming manner.

• Allow Yourself to Mourn – Mourning is the open expression of your thoughts and feelings regarding the death of your spouse. It is an essential part of healing.
• Your Grief is Uniquely Your Own – No one else had the same relationship you had with your spouse. Don’t try to compare your experience with that of others or to adopt assumptions about just how long your grief should last. Take a one-day-at-a-time approach that allows you to grieve at your own pace.
• Be tolerant of Your Physical and Emotional Needs and Limits – Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. Lighten your schedule as much as possible.
• Talk About Your Thoughts and Feelings – Share the special things you miss about your spouse. Talk about the sort of person he or she was, the types of activities you enjoyed together, and memories that allow for both laughter and tears. It’s important not to ignore your grief. It’s okay to speak from your heart, not just your head.
• Find a Support System – The most compassionate self-action you can take is to find a support system of caring friends and relatives who will provide the understanding you need. Avoid individuals who are disapproving or who try to tell you how you should grieve.
• Claiming Life Insurance Benefits – If you are the beneficiary of your spouse’s life insurance policy, you must file a claim in order to receive your benefits.

There are numerous things that cause problems in a marriage and numerous reasons that a marriage can fail. Couples are heading towards divorce when they see problems in a marriage. Marriages around us fail for multitudes of reasons. Some of them are:

• Bad communication – Many marriages will fail because of the breakdown in communication. It’s common to find couples spending more time on their smart phones/laptops than communicating with their partners.
• Financial problems – For couples, financial issues such as who will pay for the bills and debts, as well as the spending habits of one another could really jeopardize their married life.
• Lack Of Intimacy – Your lack of intimacy and sexual desire in one another may lead to cheating and become one of the risk factors why marriages fail.
• Arguments – Arguments are one top reason why marriages fail. It all begins when one party do not know how to fight fairly. Disagreements occur when both react negatively.
• Jealousy – Once married, many people expect their mate to give up friendships, particularly ones with the opposite sex.
• Trust – Constant lying and infidelities can let your spouse lose trust and faith in you. It will eventually lead to many problems when there is no trust and this is one of the reasons why marriages fail.
• No Respect – Respecting each other is one way to make a marriage strong and happy. Criticizing and not showing respects can kill a marriage slowly.
• Lack of romance – Plain and boring marriages can lead to no sex life. When the sex has gone out of the marriage, warning signs of divorce is also on the way too.
• Unwilling to compromise – Disagreements do happen and if couples are unwilling to compromise during arguments, the marriage will eventually fall apart. It is important to know how to meet in the middle and compromise.