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Sex Sexuality and Mind

In this section you can learn about the role mind plays in love, sex and sexuality. You will come to know how and why sex is more a mind game and less a body game.

The Limbic System – Sex occurs in body or brain. It’s both. But in two the brain plays a very big role. Thoughts, feelings, sensations and especially orgasm it is all master controlled by brain. Now think how and why feeling of sex gets activated.  Sex is pleasure and this is why people want more of it. It is the limbic system in brain which causes this by avoiding pain and repeating the pleasurable. It is this limbic system which results in emotions and desires including love and lust.

The Neurochemicals – The neurochemical love and lust is dopamine. Dopamine is the neurochemical that activates demand of pleasure as reward of sexual activity. It is the same which gets activated when you engage in activities that are required for survival and continuation like sex, eating food, drinking water. The more it is released, more is pleasure and more is craving. Another neurochemical called Opioid are the endorphins that help in experiencing the real pleasure. It is said that watching porn increases dopamine and therefore causes craving or more and more. The excess or deficiency of it causes disorders of libido. Even a small change in dopamine level can cause change in mood, behavior and how we ‘see’ world.

Low Dopamine

No pleasure, lack of impulse or desire, low interest in partner, inability to create bond, erectile dysfunction, sexual anxiety.

High Dopamine

High sexual desire, sexual addiction, high risk sexual behavior, sexual mania.

Normal Dopamine

Normal sexual desire, healthy bonding, healthy sexual activities, sexual satisfaction.

The Cycle

Once satisfied it takes some time for it to rise again. It varies person to person. It can also be influenced by novelty of stimulus. That may be reason behind the boredom in sex and flare up in sexual desire by new sexual ideas or new partner. To maintain sexual happiness with one partner there must be some additional reward to keep the dopamine charging. This further explains why keeping yourself just a little less satisfied sexually in a relationship can keep the interest alive by keeping the cycle in equilibrium.

There is another neurochemical called Oxytocin that creates the bond of relationship.  Also called the “cuddle hormone” or “bonding hormone”it gives the typical lovy gushy heartwarming feeling. It is also responsible for other bonds like parent child, friendship etc. When both oxytocin and dopamine combine, the result can be friendship turning into a sexual relationship.

The ultimate truth of love and sex

Keeping Love high and coupled with low sexual satiety results in neurochemical level balance. This is probably the secret behind successful marriages and the sacred sexuality advocated by sages. In case of dopamine you need more and more of its release to get the same kick as the receptors become less reactive but in case of oxytocin the receptors increase in reaction with dose. And this is the ultimate secret. You get bored of sex but love increases with time.

The love neurochemical oxytocin can :

  • Reduces cravings
  • It calms mind.
  • Increases longevity and survival
  • Reduces depression and anxiety
  • Improves sexual satisfaction

So if you want to avoid sexual frustration or addiction and have complete sexual satisfaction then GIVE LOVE A CHANCE.