Enhancing sex experience
Do not let sex become a bore routine. Do not feel unhappy if you are not getting full satisfaction. You can always improve on your sexual experience.
Creating sexual conditions and situations
- Develop fit and supple body
- Cleanliness is must
- Create better conditions like soft music, dim or colored light, exciting clothing, comfortable room temperature, soothing room fragrance etc.
- Use new ideas, think something new. Not necessarily every time but at least to break the monotony.
Creating sexual mood
- Let there be no guilt in pleasure
- Give it due time in your busy schedule
- No distraction like TV internet games phones
- Connect with partner. Do not just think about your own satisfaction.
- Be comfortable. Sex is no barrier in your goodness as human being or your value system or spiritual growth.
Sexual communication and body language
- Be spontaneous
- Have rhythmic breathing and body motion
- Guide partner about what do you like but do not force
- Be affectionate
- Make inviting eye contact
- Frequently use touches, hugs, kisses
Learning about sexual and erotic zones
- Be aware of your body and sensations
- Explore own and partner’s body
- Massage each other
- Learn whole body sex not just genital sex
Sexual games and fun
- Enjoy and be playful
- Talk about sex, share jokes and lighter side of it
- Fantasize about sex and share with your partner
- You may try role play
Manage the challenges: Like all other aspects of life, it is necessary to work on challenges before you can have best of the experience. Common challenges to sexual satisfaction are :
- Failure in sex: There is no failure in sex. It is perfectly normal to not being able to enjoy or perform. Keep your mind calm and look for cause.
- Unrealistic expectations: The first challenge is to work on your expectations. Watching sex in media like movies, TV, Internet can flare up your expectations beyond reality. But when it does not happen in real life, one feels frustrated and may even look for ‘other’ options. Understand that sex in media is over glamorized and usually has no connect with real life. Once expectations are realistic, the experience is better.
- Conflicts: Psychological stress due to conflicts with your partner can never allow you to have good sex. Connect with your partner emotionally, resolve conflicts and have good sex.
- Boredom: Good sex demands novelty. And it is not necessary to change your partner for this. You may have new ideas, different place, different positions, different ways to add new feeling. Change your fixed mechanical routine.
- Different levels of sexual desire or libido: Not everyone can have same libido just like we have different hunger. Accept the difference. Work on the factors that might me affecting the desire like stress, poor health, hormonal changes, lack of sleep etc.
- Inhibitions and Fears: Inhibitions, fears, guilt, shame due to belief system or lack of awareness can prove a big hurdle.
- Pornography and Masturbation: If one is too much into pornography, his or her ideas of good sex may get motivated by that. This may not get fulfilled in real life. Masturbation may reduce the desire and need for sex leaving the partner unsatisfied.